Question??

What are you doing right now that requires faith?

A challenging question that I read today in Francis Chan's book: Crazy Love.

Do I live my life characterized by comfort? ugh

I have been waiting for God's leading and trusting Him for the future and trying to be content where He has me.

Waiting, waiting, and more waiting. What can I do right now while I am waiting that requires faith? umm I don't have an answer for that right now, but I know God will show me. so I'll keep you posted on that.

I might just do something crazy. . . .so watch out. :)

My God is GREATER, STRONGER, and full of POWER and NOTHING can get in His way. If I really believe this with my heart and TRUST Him fully. . . . you might just think my life is kinda crazy, stupid, weird, or not smart. But its not my life so you can think whatever you want.

It's my prayer that God will show me when and where to take a step of faith and that He brings me closer to Him, whatever it takes. . .

Francis wrote:

God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situation where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through.

answered prayer

today God answer my prayer through His word.

after praying about my job and wondering if I should just quit and give my two weeks notice at work and step out in faith....

I turn to Proverbs 16 because today is the 16th of November and here is how He answered my prayer:

Commit your work to the Lord, and you plans will be established.

Proverbs 16:3

so won't be quitting anytime soon. . . .at least for now. . .i am committing my work to the Lord and the rest of my plans He will establish. :)

after all--work is God's gift to us. . . .don't believe me? read ecclesiastes 3

Empty my hands. fill up my heart. capture my mind with you...

I've got voices in my head
And they are so strong
I'm getting sick of this
Oh Lord how long
Will I be haunted by the fear that I believe
My hands like locks on cages
Of these dreams I can't set free

But if I let these dreams die
If I lay down all my wounded pride
But if I let these dreams die
Will I find that letting go lets me come alive

Empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with you

Cause these voices speak instead
whats right is wrong
And I'm giving into them
Please Lord how long
Will I be held captive by the lies I believe
my hearts in constant chaos
and it keeps me so deceived

But if I let these dreams die
If I could just lay down my dark desire
But if I let these dreams die
will I find you brought me back to life

Empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with you

Cause my mind is like a building burning down
I need your grace to keep me, keep me from the ground
My heart is just a prisoner of war
A slave to what it wants and what I'm fighting for

So wont you empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with you

I need you now Lord.

Empty My Hands

The Light Meets The Dark

Tenth Avenue North

Jeremiah 33:3

Call to me and I will answer you,

and will tell you great and hidden things that

you have not known.

"Take heart. Get up; he is calling you."

Its a another ordinary busy day over at the city of Jericho. Bartimaeus, a blind beggar, is sitting in his usual spot along the roadside listening to the footsteps of the city pass bye as they trot along running daily tasks and errands.

Everyday he sits along the roadside and identifies people by their voice and the stride of their steps. Today was the usual, people always going and coming, coming and going, same old same old.

But today, Bartimaeus hears something different; a commotion can be heard coming from down the street. Footsteps of a large crowd reach Baritmaeus ears. He can hear the excitement and feel the emotion through the crowd and curious as to what is going on he listens more intently to figure out what the buzz is all about.

Did someone really just say that Jesus of Narareth is walking by? Could it really be Jesus walking by with his disciples? Bartimus wonders to himself. Nope he had heard it right, Jesus was walking by him this very minute.

He immediately begins to cry out saying: "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" "Have mercy on me!"

His cries are met with rebukes from the crowd and to be silent. Ignoring the crowd, he cried out even louder and shouted with all his might: "Son of David, have mercy on me! Son of David, have mercy on me!"

Jesus, walking among the crowd, stops, "Call him" he says. Those among the crowd turn to the shouting blind Bartimaeus and says:

"Take heart. Get up; he is calling you."

Bartimaeus throws aside his cloak, jumps to his feet and came straight to Jesus. "What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asks. "Rabbi, let me recover my sight." Bartimaeus answers. Jesus replies: "Go your way; your faith as made you well."

Immediatly Bartimaeus recovered his sight and followed Jesus along the roadside.

Mark 10:46-52

I wonder if Bartimaeus sat along that road everyday? I wonder if anyone ever ask the blind beggar how he was doing? I wonder if he had any family or a friend? I wonder if he was lonely or ever scared? I wonder if he ever felted loved? I wonder if anyone ever showed him any compassion? I wonder what excitement and joy he felt when he heard through the crowd that Jesus Christ was walking along the very same road he sat at everyday? I wonder if it hurt when he cried out to Jesus and the crowd told him to be silent? I wonder what the crowd felt when Jesus told them to call Bartimaeus. I wonder if those same people telling the blind beggar to be silent were the same people telling him to: "Take heart. Get up; he is calling you"? I wonder what joy filled Bartimaeus' heart as he leaped up and threw his cloak aside when he heard Jesus was calling him? I wonder if Bartimaeus's cloak was the only thing he owned? I wonder what a joy it must have been to hear Christ's words: "Go your way; your faith as made you well."? I wonder if Christ was the first thing Bartimaeus saw when he received his sight?

Will I have compassion on the "Bartimaeus's" in my life or daily walk by and hush those crying out for mercy? Will I ignore those hurting and alone around me that I come in contact with on a daily base? Will I continue to cry out for His mercy and love when others around me tell me to be silent? Will I throw aside everything I owen and leap up and follow Jesus like Bartimaeus?

"Take heart. Get up; he is calling you."

TRUST

"Trust Me, My child," He says.

"Trust Me with a fuller abandon than you ever have before.

Trust Me , as minute succeeds minute, everyday of your life, for as long as you live.

And if you become conscious of anything hindering our relationship,

do not hurt Me by turning away from Me.

Draw all the closer to Me, com, run to Me.

Allow Me to hide you, to protect you, even from yourself.

Tell Me your deepest cares, you every trouble.

Trust Me to keep My hand upon you.

I will shape you, mold you, and perfect you.

Do not fear. O child of My love, do not fear.

I love you."

-Amy Carmichael

FAITH

By FAITH Abel,

by FAITH Enoch,

without FAITH it is impossible to please him,

by FAITH Noah,

by FAITH Abraham obeyed-and he went out, not knowing where he was going,

by FAITH Sarah,

by FAITH Abraham offered up Isaac,

by FAITH Jacob

by FAITH Joseph,

by FAITH Moses--choose to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He consider the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt,

by FAITH the people crossed the Red Sea on dry land,

by FAITH the walls of Jericho fell down,

by FAITH Rahab did not perish,

And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David, and Samuel and the prophets--

who through FAITH conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection. Some were tortured, refusing to accept release so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated--of whom the world was not worthy--wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.

Hebrew 11

For truly, I say to you, if you have FAITH like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, "Move from here to there, and it WILL move, and NOTHING will be impossible for you."

Matthew 17:20

Home

Today it has really hit me. Back home, tired and emotionally drained. It all hit me today. Everything from camp ending, to a father daughter camp out, to helping coach a volleyball camp, to helping a friend move out to NC, and saying goodbye to friends.

boy....what a crazy, awesome, wonderful summer coming to an end. flying back from NC yesterday I realized that summer is coming to an end and today I realized that its over. Wow. Its over. Right now, I'll be honest, I am tired. My heart was heavy and felt discouraged and when I opened my Bible to start reading--I couldn't read. After scribbling my thoughts out in my journal and tearfully giving things over to my Savior I read Psalm 136.

Sometimes when I read things I have to really focus on comprehending things, but today God made it plain and simple for me in Psalm 136. (I'm thankful I have a Father who knows when I am tired and knows exactly what I need to read.) Psalm 136 has 26 verses--and 26 times it says: "for his steadfast love endures forever". mhmm....no wondering what this chapters main point is-good thing God knows that I am dumb as sheep and put it in there 26 times for me. His steadfast love endures forever.

He didn't have to comfort me or lead me to the right chapter to read-but He did. His steadfast love endures forever. He doesn't have to love me but He does. His steadfast love endures forever. He doesn't have to give me grace-but He does-everyday. His steadfast love endures forever.

AMAZING.

His steadfast love endures forever.

Preparing to come down the mountain. . . .

Two more weeks. Camp is almost over. Two weeks left. ugh. I don't want it to be. The weeks have flown bye and only two weeks left. Sad day. I have been challenged this summer to enjoy today and the "right now" because thats all I am guaranteed. I'll let tomorrow worry about its self-but easier said then done.

The past couple of weeks have been a blur and its been probably the best two weeks of this summer. July 5th-8th was the Defender sports week. (Defenders our a homeschool sports organization that who I coached for last volleyball season) We had around 30-35 Defender campers come out and it was a different week than all the others because we had both junior high and high school ages and it was nice knowing most of them. Usually the campers come with their youth group leaders but since they didn't come in youth groups, we got to lead devotions. I was with the high school girls and since I had coached most of them, I enjoyed the interaction with my girls. Spending more time and interaction with the girls was a favorite for me and seeing hearts challenged and encouraged at the end of camp was a highlight.

We had several campers who were wrestling with some big questions about God and wondering if He even existed. At the end of the week it was a big praise to hear how the battle in hearts were over and how God had revealed Himself to them.

Turned 24 on July 5th! It's kinda weird being that old cause I'm told I don't really act my age. :) Which I would agree--who wants to grow up? Not me-I'll just go to Never never land!! :) lol I did have a great birthday and thankful to spend it at camp with great friends. I played tackle football and bang up my knee in the afternoon and then later hit the same knee twice going down the waterslide later that day. The second time I hit it down the slide I knew something wasn't right. It swelled up pretty nice and I limped around like a pirate for a few days. It was good for me because I realized how much I don't like to ask for help and how independent I am. Just another way He humbled me. Thankfully nothing was torn or ripped. Which was a praise for me with no insurance. God is good. Swelling is all gone and just left some pretty sweet bruises. :)

High school week just ended and the week flew bye WAY to fast and I mixed emotions as I realized that it was the last full week of campers and realized that I only have two more weeks left. It was the biggest group we had out at camp all summer along with 30-35 pre-K to Kindergarten day campers that came out Wednesday. It was probably the hottest week with 90% humidity some days. It was HOT, but thankfully didn't have cranky campers or staff, just hot and tired ones. :)

The favorite part for me these past two weeks have been on the last night of camp we do prayer stations. We have different stations that all have different focuses of confessions, forgiveness, lies vs truths, and many more. Those two nights were my favorite because I saw the body of Christ at work. People from all backgrounds sharing and confession there struggles together, praising God, discovering lies they had been believing and replacing then with truth. It was beautiful. That is how the church-the real church of Christ should be. Thats what's missing in the "traditional American churches".

God's been showing me different lies I have been believing in my life and its amazing at how Satan can take part of a truth and twist it so much that we start believing it. I've also been learning to daily surrender everything to Christ because if I don't it just builds up and can become ugly or turn into a lie. Its hard, but I am thankful for the strength He gives me. Goes back to the whole grace thing-blows my mind how He still loves me.

We'll I'll be heading back tonight for the final two weeks. We have family camp this weekend and tear down next week. :( The D-team will be doing some final training together to prepare us for coming back home. The heart and one of the main focuses of Extreme Kansas Camp is us staff. Being trained as a disciple who makes disciples. Its been a great experience and I want to stay on the mountain just like when Jesus and the disciples went up to the mountain and meet with Elijah and Moses and the disciples wanted to build tents and stay there. Shawn explained that when we have great experiences we want to capture those moments and just stay in our tents forever, but we have to come back down the mountain. These next two weeks are going to be preparing us to come down from the mountain and prepare us to go out and apply what we've learned and become disciples who make disciples in our communities.

Keep us in your prayers and thoughts has we prepare to come down from the mountain and pray that the D-team can get excited and apply everything we've learned.

Love you all and enjoy today!!!

-Broken Within

eXtreme living

Isaiah 4:6 ~ It will be a shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place from the storm and rain.

After another busy crazy week of setting up camp, we finished all the big projects just in time for our first week of campers. :) Also our short-term team from Chihuahua Mexico made it safely to Kansas. It was great to meet all of them and was sad to say good bye to them after working with them for two weeks. They helped us with setting up the rest of camp and worked with us this last week with campers. They all worked hard and felt like part of our staff family after severing with us for two weeks. They sure got a taste of KS weather with all the humidity, heat, and storms. :)

Our first week of camp went well and we all stayed crazy busy. The week flew by with storms, swimming,

volleyball, whiffle ball, biking, hockey, worshiping at the cross, basketball, dodgeball, and so much more. Days were packed full of activities, worship, and testimonies. I believe we had around 30-35 middle school campers. We had youth groups from Abilene, Winfield, Kansas City, and Lexington, NB. It was a very multi-cultural week with group of inner city kids, a Hispanic group, and the Chihuahua group with the rest of us. God is good and was awesome to see people from different cities, states, and countries all together worshiping, severing, and growing together in eXtreme encounters. We had 5 campers come to know Christ!! God is at work in hearts and can't wait to see what God does for the rest of the summer.

God was our shelter throughout this past week and a shade from the heat of the day. We experienced some eXtreme storms this past couple of weeks and praise the Lord He was our shelter protecting everyone. I've

never been so close to a lightning blot that hit our camp ground. I was in a the tent with Laura C. getting things together has a huge blot crashed outside our tent. We both grab each other and screamed. The light was so bright and could feel it hit the ground and the thunder was SO LOUD. I'll never look at lightening storms the same again!!! Our guys were running back down the hill from tightening tents said they felt heat on their backs and almost knocked them down. It was eXtreme!!!!!

Last Wednesday started out like every other day at camp with activities and we saw a storm in the distance and the radar showed it was going to miss us. So after lunch we all went back to activities when all of sudden the storm turned right back us with hard rain, hail, and 80mph wind!! I've never seen anything like it before! The rain came down hard and the wind blew it horizontal soaking all of us at base camp. We scrambled around to waterproof all the electronics at base camp and our kitchen was completely torn up with the wind knocking down all three fridges. It was CRAZY! We got so much rain it washed away the 12 tons of sand we just put on the volleyball court. The wind uprooted a huge cottonwood tree onto two of our staff's cars. Thankfully the cars came out with a small dent and a few scratches. Our guys heavy duty canvas tent that is suppose to withstand 70 mph wind blew over and bent the medal frames in some places. Branches down everywhere and lots of wet campers, tents, and sleeping bags. I'll see if I can post some pictures. God was defiantly our shelter and hiding place while the storm blew around us, there was peace inside us. It was a great eXtreme experience for the campers and myself to see the power of God.

After the storm moved on, the sun came out and it was like nothing happened. Crazy Kansas. :) We went on a "scavenger hunt" to find clothes, tents, ect. The rest of the evening was cleaning up and seeing what needed to be repaired replaced. God is good and no one was hurt.

I am home for the weekend and been spent time today with my grandpa, cousins, aunts, uncles, and the family for Father's day. Its been a good weekend to rest after a busy three weeks. Summer is flying to fast and I am not ready to come back to work, bills, ect. I love being out at camp. No makeup, hard work, no dressing up, getting dirty, working with others, sleeping under the stars, fishing, hoedowns, worshiping at sunsets, outdoor showers, storms, fish fry's, and so much much more. :) :)

Tammy and I will be heading back to Milford tomorrow morning for a week of cleanup and training. There also will be some alumni and friends of Extreme Kansas Camp coming out for part of the week. We'll be getting ready for upcoming weeks of Defenders, high school, and family camp weeks. Keep looking for updates and I'll try to update this when I can.

Keep standing strong and take time to getaway with Jesus.

Poor Kendra's car. Only came out with a small dent in the back and a few scratches!!

God's storms are powerful but yet He still kept us safe and it could have been worse.

God is good.

Called in some help. These guys were great.

The wind got a hold of this tent, but thankfully didn't blow over. The boy's tent is a different story and they are homeless. :) (they never slept in it anyways. lol)

Boy campers had to repair some tents and search for some belongings.

Trying to get warm by the stove. Everyone was wet and cold.

Repairing the kitchen. All three fridges blew over. Thankfully we didn't lose too much food. God is good. :)

Sunshine. :)

Returning from the laundry mat with dry clothes and sleeping bags.

Looks like a disaster relief. lol

Photographer Laura on the job after the storm.

Building sand castles while bedding dries. :)

More sand castles. They made a whole city. It was pretty sweet.

Me and Cora. :)

Pray and Watch

oh boy, is it really Friday already? What a busy week! :) Arrived at Milford lake Tue morning and now I'm sitting at a McDonald's in Junction City getting connected back to the world. lol Has it really been just 4 days? 4 day of fishing, memorizing scripture, cleaning boats, water skiing, praying, pulling weeds out of the sand, sunburn, swimming, moving docks, washing dishes, patching tubes and being challenged to get away like Jesus to pray are just a few of the things we have been doing around here setting up for camp. Am I tired? You bet-but wouldn't have it any other way or couldn't think of a better place to be. Its going to be a great summer and can't wait to see what other areas God is going to push me this summer. :)

First day we had Neal and Judy Brower come and give us a short training on how to Pray and Watch. Was challenged to pray for the lost around us and then watch to see when God softens the soil of their heart and when its ready for planting seeds of who Jesus is. They will both be coming out later in the summer to do a full seminar at camp and can't wait to hear more about Praying and Watching. They will be holding and if that sounds like something your interested in, shoot me an email or just stay posted for further info.

Our devo's have been focused on getting away like Jesus to pace and pray like Him. Its been a great challenge while at camp as things get busy and can apply back after camp is over.

We have this weekend off and I will be resting at Tammy's grandma's house this weekend in Chapman so we'll get refreshed at rested. :)

Pray for us this weekend as the short-term team from Mexico is coming this next week. They should be crossing the border soon if not already here. We all will be together this next week doing team building activities and getting ready for the first set of campers coming. Pray for the unity of the team as some can speak english well and others can't. I am excited to see how God works this all together.

I have been pushed physical and spiritually in just these 4 short days and it has really been extreme and can't wait for the next weeks to come! Have a blessed weekend and week to come and I'll report back to you all as soon as I can. Later gators!

Enjoy everyday,

-broken within

okay so this is my first time using a blog, so well see how it goes. :)

so why do I have one? well I am heading tomorrow to Milford lake for the next two months working at Extreme Kansas Camp. :) :) I thought a blog would be a good way to give you all some updates on what God is doing this summer through the hearts of the camp staff and campers.

I was praying and looking for something to do this summer when Shawn Ammons asked me to consider Extreme Kansas Camp. After praying about it and considering some other options for the summer and making sure I could get off from work-- I felt like camp was where God wanted me this summer.

Extreme Camp exist to raise up, sharpen, and launch servant leaders into the world for God's glory. I will be part of the Extreme Disciple Making Team. (I believe that there is seven of us) One of the main reasons I choose to work out at camp this summer was to learn how to be a disciple who makes disciples. I want God to stretch and challenge me physically and spiritually as I work/interact with the D-Team(Disciple Team) and the campers.

What will I be doing this summer? The D-Team will be doing devotions, leading worship, and running different activities like: paint-balling, biking, variety of sports, tubing ect. I will be lifeguarding and helping with whatever needs get done from patching tubes to sharing my testimony. For 9 weeks we will be living out at Milford lake and will have a JH, HS, Defender Sports, and Family camp weeks. We will also be serving with short-term missionaries from Chihuahua, Mexico for a couple of weeks.

This will be my first summer out at Extreme Camp, but I am WAY excited to be trained as a disciple who makes disciples. I can't wait to see what God will do/is doing through the hearts of those on staff and the hearts of the campers!

Please keep us all in prayer if we come to mind. Pray for open hearts. Pray for unity of the D-Team. Pray for physical health and that we all stay healthy. Pray for the leadership. Pray for good weather. Pray for flexible attitudes. Pray that our words and actions will point to our Savior. Pray for the Mexico team coming up. Pray that we will be filled up and overflow to the campers we come in contact with. Pray that we keep God the number one focus throughout the summer.

I'll be driving to camp tomorrow morning and all this week we will be setting up camp and I hear there is lots to be done!!! To God be the glory!!!!

Well I got laundry in the washer, clothes to be packed and a last minute trip to wal-mart to go do.

Enjoy everyday and take up your cross,

-Broken Within